“Tanya, we need to talk.” Nick startles me. Four days after Regis and Kathie Lee, the gang is checking into another hotel in Rhode Island. The guys just had a meet ‘n’ greet , so there are swarms of fans and reporters everywhere. “Sure.” He leads me to a far corner of the lobby, not completely alone, but close to it. “Tanya, I, uh, I don’t know. This is going to be hard.” Nick explains, furrowing his brow. I look up upon his troubled face. “What’s wrong?” A moment of silence follows as Nick collects his thoughts. “I...I don’t know how to tell you this.” “Just tell me, Nick.” He swallows hard. “We can’t see each other any more. It’s not working out.” He says loud enough for a few keen reporters to pick up their ears. I feel my heart lurch to a pain-staking halt. “Ok. It’s over then.” I feel a tear run down my face. “I have to go.” I turn on my heel and run to the elevators. I can’t control my tears any more, they pour down my face. I cry into my pillow, which seemed like forever. Going over all the reasons why it ended, not coming up with anything substantial. “Tanya, please don’t cry.” I didn’t even hear Nick enter my room. “Just leave me be.” I choke out, trying to stop my tears. No hope in that. “Please.” “Tanya, we need to talk.” “The last time you said that you broke my heart. I don’t think I can handle that again.” He lowers himself next to me. I turn my head away. “Please, look at me.” He pleads. I close my eyes, holding back a fresh wave of tears. He waits and waits. When I don’t turn over, he does it for me. He pins my hands above my head with one hand. I turn my head away from him, not wanting him to see my tears. Nick takes his other hand and gently turns my tear-stained face towards him. “You don’t want me to see you cry.” “Nick, please.” I beg. “I can’t. Not until I tell you what I came here to tell you.” When I do not react, he continues. “If you look at me and listen for two minutes, I’ll leave.” I deliberate for a moment and resolve to listen. I open my eyes and look at his, once-so-sweet, face. I caused her that much pain, Lord, why did I do that? “I had to say what I said to protect you.” I look up at him, confused. “The fans were getting hostile and the media were starting rumors. I needed to do something. So, I thought pretending to break up with you would be the best thing to do.” “Pretending?” “Pretending. Do you think I would give up something so good?” I search his face for any signs of dishonesty, but find it to be totally pure. He leans down and kisses me on my forehead. I try to move my hands, but they are still pinned down. I giggle under my tears. “What?” “How can I hug you if I can’t even move my arms?” “Oh! Sorry.” He releases my hands, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close. I breath a sigh of relief. The next day, the Boys and I have a short press conference to make sure everyone knows of our supposed break up. “You and Nick were dating?” A reporter inquires. “Yes.” “And now it’s over?” “Yes.” Nick answers. “Why did it end so soon?” “It was sort of like dating a brother, we are such close friends, it was a little strange.” “We knew everything about each other. All our pet peeves, gross habits, everything.” “Has the rest of you been affected by their relationship?” “Nah, not really. At first, we were jealous. But, what guy wouldn’t be jealous of Nick if he was dating this girl?” AJ replies. “To tell you the truth, I was surprised, little Nicky here, had the guts to even ask her out.” Howie kids. “Thank you for your time, but Tanya and the guys have a show to do tonight and we have sound check to do.” Donna gives a conclusion to our press conference. We arrive at the concert hall and the guys take their places on stage. I sit and wait patiently on the apron of the stage. “Nick, we need to work on ‘Heaven’ it needs more, um, passion. Make the audience feel as if you are talking to them and only them.” Donna directs. “Ok. More passion.” Nick mimics with a flourish of his hand. Howie, Kev, Brian, and AJ take this time to take a water break. “Open up your heart to me.” “More!” Donna shouts over the music. “And say what’s on your mind.” “Come on!” “I know you’ve been through so much pain.” He turns to face me. “But I need you in my life.” He comes toward me, while singing. He holds out his hand to me. “And I need you tonight. I need you right now.” He holds me close and continues singing to me as we slow dance. This is so beautiful. I close my eyes and sway to the music. “And I know deep within my heart, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right. All those endless nights, we tried to make it last forevermore. And baby, I know I need you. I know deep within my heart it doesn’t matter if its wrong or right. I see heaven...I need you tonight, I need you right now. I know deep within my heart it doesn’t matter if its wrong or right. I see heaven..” Nick pauses and looks deep in my eyes, as if he is searching my soul, “in your eyes.” The music ends. “You two...I don’t know, but you are something. That was perfect, Nick. Imagine as if you are singing to Tanya.” “The really do love each other don’t they?” AJ whispers to Howie. “I was just thinking the same thing.” “Well, you guys can break until 6.” We look around, wondering what to do for a couple hours. “Leave. Get out of my face!” Donna jokes. “Go have fun!” We decide to hit the hotel’s well-equipped gym for a long avoided workout. “I’m going to swim some laps. Anyone want to join me?” I ask, pulling my mirrored goggles out of my bag. “Sure, I will.” Kevin agrees. I strip down to my black one piece racing suit and step to the edge of the almost Olympic sized pool. I dive in smoothly, and when I emerge Kevin asks me if I want to race. Sure.” He dives in, not so smoothly with a loud splash. I pull myself out of the water, preparing myself for a starting dive. “Whatcha doing?” “Starting dive.” “Well, I’ll let you get a better start, because I’ll probably beat you.” “Uh-huh, Kev. Call ‘go’ for us, Nick!” “On your mark...” I place my fingertips on the edge of the pool and right foot behind me, “get set...GO!” I swing my arms around and dive in, starting a little behind Kevin. Mid-25, I catch up to him and pass him. My legs automatically kicking hard and arms gracefully swing in and out of the water. I flip-turn, but Kevin pushes off the wall again, falling even more behind. I finish with him five to seven feet behind me. when he arrives, he chuckles deeply. “No fair, you got a dive start.” “Sorry, honey, I’ve been swimming in competitions since I was eight. I think I have a little more advantage.” I hear hooting and hollering behind me, I turn to see Nick, Howie, Brian, and AJ cheering for me. I smile and roll my eyes at them, pulling myself out of the water and walking over to the diving board. A group of guys start whistling and cat-calling as I pass Two of them get up and follow me to the board. Nick notices this and comes to protect me. Standing over them by at least 3 inches. He intertwines his arm around my waist as I wait to dive. The two other males leave not wanting to deal with Nick, or the rest of my larger friends. “Jealous?” I ask looking up at him. “Of them, not a chance.” “What if I said I thought they were cute.” “I would say I thought you were crazy.” “You weren’t even the slightest bit jealous?” I pout, acting coy. “Maybe a little.” I climb onto the board and do a swan dive off. Nick follows me, doing a can-opener, sending waves and water everywhere! I swim over to where Nick dove in, so I could dunk him when he came back up. I look around, not seeing him. “Ah!” I yelp as I am pulled under the water. I struggle to the top and see Nick pop up behind me. “You!” I accuse, sputtering out water. “Me?” “You!” I reach my arms out and dunk him under. I swim away as fast as possible crying out for the others to help me. Howie and AJ rip their shirts off and dive in. Brian does a cannonball while announcing “WAR!” I cry out as I notice them charging towards me. “Eek!” For the next five minutes, Howie, Brian, Nick, and AJ chase me around trying to dunk me. “Truce!” “Good, truce, I’m getting tired.” “Then get out and rest.” I constantly worry about his heart condition. “You sound like my mother...and Nick.” “Good, I don’t want you to just die on me?” “How come?” “Because. “Why?” “Because.” “Give me one good reason and I’ll rest.” I stop and think hard. A few moments pass. “It takes you that long to think of a reason why I shouldn’t die?” Brian asks with a hurt expression on his face. “No, it just takes me a little while to come up with a witty answer.” A totally shocked look washes over his face. “I’m kidding! I wouldn’t want you to die because if you did this world would lose a tremendously wonderful person, and I love you.” I answer giving him a big bear hug. “Awww!” Howie, Nick, and AJ sigh simoteniously. Oh you!” I cry, hitting the water, splashing it at them. Nick dives for me, but I jump out of the way and swim off. I jump out of the pool and grab a towel. “Cheater.” Nick whines from the pool. I blow him a kiss and dry off. “I’m going to the weight room, join me if you want.” I put my shorts on and walk off in search of the hotel’s weight room. “Hey Locks.” Kevin greets me. “How much is that?” I ask, astonished at the amount of weights of the bench press. “Oh, not much, about 275.” My mouth drops. “Not that much! I can bench like 75 pounds. Well, how much can you leg press?” I ask, getting cocky, knowing what my answer is. “About 500 or so.” “Man, I thought I had you beat with my 250. Thanks a lot.” “That’s good. You’ve got strong legs.” “According to my mom, they are legs that could snap tress in half, but I guess not.” I laugh at my mother’s horrible metaphors. I don’t know where adults can come up with these things. “I’m headed to do some sit ups.” I point to a pile of mats. Sitting down on the mats, I do my use-to-be daily 200 cruches, and 35 push ups. In the next hour, Nick and Howie join Kev and I, running on the treadmill, free weights, leg press, whatever we feel like doing.